project 365 {day 2}

YESTERDAY, I came to the conclusion that I draw all of my energy from within, you can read about that here. Now, where does all that energy go? What are the tasks that require most of my energy? I was really pondering this question all day today. I've realized the task that took most of my time (besides my children) is cooking. I am in the kitchen more than I am anywhere else. I am there for tea, and breakfast; there’s always a snack if not a snack for me it’s a snack for Lexi. Then we have lunch hmmm what should we have for lunch? Surely, another snack after lunch of some sort will be eaten afterwards. Then we come to dinner. OH boy! Now, this is the hard part. What in the HELL am I going to make for dinner? This question has brought me so much anxiety since I’ve become a stay at home mother and a wife. I never cooked, I never learned and I NEVER wanted to. 

Cooking has been such a battle that I despised it. I hated it so bad that it made me angry, angry enough to bitch and moan about it. HA! How stupid is that? Cooking made me angry!? After a lot of time spent within myself I decided that this feeling wasn’t a feeling that I wanted in my life. I didn’t want to be angry every time I had to be in the kitchen. Then one day I was sitting in the kitchen all pissed off and said to myself, “ JeNeal..get the freak over it! You have to eat and you want to eat healthy so buck up!” And that was it. I then decided to set up an affirmation on my bathroom mirror and every day since I have read that affirmation, I’ve said it out loud in the mirror to myself (along with other daily affirmations) and guess what. I am starting to enjoy cooking. Can you believe that!? Tonight for the first time EVER I was able to look in my fridge (which is pretty bare) and come up with something and something DELICIOUS for dinner. I know how pathetic that might sound, but I’m telling you that was the hardest task for me. Seriously it was insanely hard for me to figure out what I wanted to make my family for dinner. Unless I had meal planned earlier that week.. we would be headed out for fast food. And it sucked. Fast food didn’t feel good. The saddest part was that we had food… GOOD food, sitting there in my fridge. Waiting for me to cook up something tasty. Deep down I knew I could, and I just had to have a little change of heart.

Okay back to the point… AHEM… we were talking about the task that took most of my energy… and that was cooking. I can GLADLY say that I don’t mind this anymore. And to be honest, it is actually starting to not require as much energy. Because I have chosen to change my perspective and attitude, I feel good about the energy that is being used. It is purposeful; food is a requirement to keep your body in its tip-top. I want to be happy and healthy, not only spiritually but also physically.   

Where do YOU spend most of your energy? Is it joyful? If not YOU can certainly change that! 

PS I'll be sharing the yummy recipe with you soon! :D

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